Just a Little Humor

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day: picked out a box of tampons and proceded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, Son how old are you? "Eight" the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they are not for me, They are for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on a TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now he can't do either."


"Doctor please help me" says an elderly patient. "I have a silent passage of gas every morning, I have a silent passage of gas every afternoon, and i suffer from a passage of gas in the evenings.
Sometime i have a passage of gas a unpredictable times, for instance just now. Doctor, can you help me?"
The doctor responds, "Sure, I can help you. But first you need your hearing checked."

A man's wife had just bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guarnteed to make her look years younger. She sat in front of the mirror for what seemed to be hours applying the "miracle" products. Finally she finished, turned to her husband and said, "Honey, honestly now what age would you say I am?"
He nodded his head slowly, then carefully said, "Well, judging from your skin, 20. Your hair...mmm,18. Your figure, 25."
"Oh, you are so sweet! she gushed.
"Well, hang on. I'm not done adding it all up yet."

Life Goes On

Well the past week has been rather hectic. First, spent several days with the galloping crud. Finally got over that and thought everything was going smoothly until Saturday morning. Mom and I are staying downstairs while Noah and Treece are here. With all the room we have downstairs there is not much need to live in the upper part. However, Saturday morning I found water on the floor in the little kitchen area. Out hot water tank was leaking. It was about 25 years old so I knew it was time to replace it anyway. While hooking up the hose to drain it, the faucet broke out and hot water started going everywhere. Thinking about the boy with his finger in the dam to stop the leak, it does not work with your thumb in hot water. Being a 50 gallon tank did not help the situation either. Finally got a dam fixed with all our towels, sheets and anything else we could find we were able to get by with little damage. Fortunately, the carpet in our den is glued down so it has dried out ok. Finally got the tank in Saturday night but still having a few minor problems.
There has been a lot of flu going around here but we have escaped it so far except for the sore throat and chest congestion. I don't like it when it sound like you are coughing up fur balls. The rash that you get occasionally is another problem. I went to the drug store and ask the lady where the baby powder was located. She stated, walk this way please, to which I explained if I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the baby powder.
I have spent the past two days redoing our son's clemency application. I don't understand how attorneys can allow such sloppy work by their secretarys, that you have to go back and redo it all. Everytime I go down to the office, this one is always outside puffing on a cigarette. The next time I go there, I'll tell her where she can stick that cigarette.
Anyway, life goes on and all we seem to have these days is political propaganda. Poor old Huck has ego problems and really needs to fade away. I really hope when the new Wal-Mart opens in our neighborhood, they will still hire 80 year olds. They are going to start frisking people as they leave to cut down on pilferage. I can do that.

Major Decisions of a Lifetime

As we go through life we often have to make major decisions that effect not only ourselves but others as well. The past four months have caused me a great deal of anxiety as well as being torn by having to make some decisions I had hoped I would never have to make. Dealing with the spiritual lives of individuals can take an enormous toll on a person. I have during this process had to turn to God and renew my faith in him and pray that those decisions that effect the church are those that are pleasing to Him. When we look at our church family that we have known for many years, we can only hope that out of these decisions comes a healing process and we can move forward doing those things that help us to be the persons that God expects us to be. I take consolation in one of the issues that came out of the Restoration Movement, In matters of opinion, Liberty. During the past few days, I have received many words from individuals that feel the right decisions were made and that I am appreciated for taking a stand on issues that our church family has wrestled with for many weeks. There must always be a Spirit of Love and the Bond of Peace. With God's help, all will meet tyhe challenges that are facing many churches today.

Just a note on the results of my recent MRI. Stenosis is the diagnosis that effects my spinal column. This is due to bulges in the disc that has caused the problems with pain in my side, back and left leg. Narrowing in the spinal column is the results of stenosis. My doctor has contacted the spine center at UAMS and hopefully some relief can come through therapy. I have determined to not to let this slow me down but keep moving forward. I can stand pain as long as it does not intefere with my eating or sleeping. Anyway, thats about all to report on me. Mom will undergo a sleep test in about two weeks to determine a cause for her loss of energy. Since she is reaching the 80 mark, I thought about trading her in for two 20's. She informed me I was not wired for 220.