These comments come from a catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New testements. They have not been retouched or corrected.
In the first book of the bible, guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark which the animals come on to in pears.
Lots wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire at night.
The jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Moses led the hebrews to the red sea, where they made unleavened bread which is a bread without any ingredients.
The Egeypitians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he reached Canada. Then Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of geritol.
The greatest miracle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times
Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do one to others before they do it to you.